Surprising encounter

Copley square: Where I caught the bus home

During the beginning stages of a snow storm, I went to see a friend who was in town. While on the bus I met a woman and we started talking. I told her that I worked for InterVarsity and she knew of it. She said that she had friends who were involved. I was able to share with conviction about how I worked in France and the needs there for people to hear the Gospel. And I also told her that I was fundraising. She knew another staff who does the same and could see how it was hard to do. In it's defense, I told her that it's a test of faith to raise support, but if we believe in the the God who created the universe, then he can provide. We parted ways and I was glad I met her.

On my return home, we were on the same bus again. Somehow she felt like she should go to the bus stop not knowing if it was coming to not. The timing was too perfect! So we talked again on the way home and I could tell that it wasn't a coincidence that we met. On two express bus rides, we covered life, faith and the future, which are tough subjects to cover with a complete stranger. When we were parting ways, I gave her my card with hopes that we would keep in touch. And I thought that she was about to do the same but instead she made a donation towards the ministry, which I wasn't expecting it. She prayed for me and then we parted ways.

I am amazed how God mysteriously connects us all together. Even though I had never met this woman before, I was encouraged to meet a new person and share a small part of my life with her. Technology has isolated us in so many ways, yet it deceptively makes us feel like we are more connected. Honesty I think it's nice to just have conversation face to face with a person and see them smile.

Trials

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4

Raising the financial support to do my job isn't easy. I have faced so many trials these last 8 months, only God's promises have kept me steadfast. Through the trials, I have realized that this wasn't about me or the money, but instead about God's greater purposes and his willingness to use me in the process.

I am amazed by the generosity of those wanting to financially support me. I was taught to approach everyone I know. Though I have been hesitant to approach everyone, I have contacted students that I met in Paris. I was really surprised by how eager they were to help. Though they may not be rich, their enthusiasm is more than enough to encourage me not underestimate those who want an opportunity to give.

I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I have faced doubt, fear, lies, insecurity, awkwardness... Those are only a few to say the least. The fruit of these trials has been patience, love, trust, joy, contentment, wisdom, hope... Those are only a few. What I have gained from pursuing God's call has been pivotal in my walk with Christ. I would never trade any of these experiences and, if I had to, I would do it all over again. Well I probably will because it's part of my job as a full time missionary.

It's my hope that I may be able to use these experiences to encourage others to pursue God's calling for their lives. Pursuing God is never easy. The obstacles are numerous and the sacrifices are great. The truth is that he will never disappoint or let us down.

Provision from above

For the past 8 months, I have be trying to raise the financial support I need to return to France. It's apart of my job and I knew it would be hard. Now I'm starting to see why it's so important. This is a message I recently sent to someone who is considering going into full time ministry:

I was thinking again about the answer to your question: How long does it take to fundraise? Honestly I really don't know. God is the one who will initially provide for you. His timing isn't the same as ours. I'm in my second round of "extended support raising" and it feels like it's taking forever. I don't think there are any guarantees for how long it will take. And the number of people you think to ask isn't always a huge factor (to success) because the people I thought would give didn't and complete strangers were surprisingly generous. I think your motivation and sense of calling is huge because that will help you to boldly ask. I hope this scary but exciting aspect of ministry won't sway your decision if you really do feel called. If God is calling you, you'll go and have everything you need.


I wrote this without thinking how much it applies to me. I have been using my time and energy focusing on God's provision, but I can honestly say that I have been less focused on God and more focused on myself and the provision itself. No wonder doubt and fear enter my mind, there is no possible way for me to provide for myself. There is nothing that I can do but but trust in the one who gives to those who are in need. The amount doesn't matter because He is the source of everything we could possibly need.

Really honest

I'm going to be real with you now. I'm not one to be so vulnerable and transparent, but this is worth sharing however comfortable it is. Today I wrote this email to my friend in a highly restricted country so I had to replace some vocabulary. I hope it makes sense to you.

Dearest Carli,

Thank you so much for this encouraging email, I'm blessed to see it today because I was feeling really discouraged. I am inspired to ask our father for impossible things, I'll start with 6 but I'll prob ask for more because I'm greedy and overly ambitious ;) So it looks like I won't be going to staff conference after all. I have to tell Renée by Friday, but I don't think it will be the best use of my time (I could be wrong so I still have 3 days to see things clearly). I'm believing (though I've been fighting through unbelief) to be applying for my return visa around the same time. That's one of the 6 things I'm asking for. So I'm leaving next week to Texas for the last push to be fully funded; I'll be there for almost 2 months. On Sunday, a friend of mine said he could triple his monthly giving so I'm believing for miracles like that to come. I have 36% left to raise. This period of support raising has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. These days I feel attacked more and more (honestly it's a weekly occurence). I thanked Dad today for the days I wasn't attacked and felt encouraged.

Like a beautiful leaf that has survived the elements, we are quite similar

Well so far we have seen each other in 3 countries so I hope that we might add a 4th one but I'll be glad to see you anywhere Dad chooses. I'm sorry that I have forgotten to lift you up regularly (besides just through the updates). I'm overjoyed for your healing! I'm thankful and honored to hear from you.

Much love and many thanks to you!

Nia

After writing this email and letting it sit, I came to a realization. I am the most satisfied and fulfilled person that I have ever been. Going through the hardship and struggles has been worth every minute. My prayer life has exploded, I pray constantly (and I could pray even more). I don't feel needy like I have been in the past and I don't fantasize about doing other things. God has allowed me to be completely satisfied in him.

The beautiful colors of fall...

My amazing reward

“Hi Tanya,

Thanks for the email. I could really use a ton prayer. I'm feeling very overwhelmed with everything I'm trying to achieve to be fully funded. It's been a constant battle and it doesn't seem to end. I will be going to Texas for 2 months Nov 3-Dec 28th to raise support and visit family. Please pray that I get more appointments because I don't want to be aimlessly going from one week to the next. I'm trying to plan visits, but I don't have very many. Also I don't really have community down there and it's so easy to get lonely. My parents (who I'm staying with) don't go to church and it's already been hard to be motivated so this might be another huge obstacle. I need so much help; it feels like I'm against impossible odds.

Thanks for the prayers!

Nia”

I sent this email today. Every quarter, the InterVarsity Link coordinators pray for all the staff. I always have requests because I feel like I’m always struggling with something. Even after I send them, I realize that I forgot some. I don’t think these struggles are going to get any easier. I wonder what I signed up for and if it’s always going to be so hard. I don’t feel equip for this. In no way do I feel strong or able.

My amazing reward from this battle is faith. I’m able to believe for others. Today I received a message from a friend. I have been praying for her cousin to be healed from cancer. To my surprise her cousin told her that she was healed.

“Your glory fills the whole earth”. Recently I was doing some listening prayer with my supervisor Renée. I had so much I wanted to listen for, but the first words she received were “powerless” and “overwhelmed”. So we listened for these two words. The image I received was of drops of water coming down from one finger. The drops morphed and covered the entire earth. The verse from Isaiah 6:3 came to my mind: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”

The Echos of God's love

In my last post, I shared about a presentstion I did at a Chinese church where I met a woman who was directly impacted by the ministry I work for. I shared this story with many people, who were also encouraged by it. To my amazement, God wanted to keep encouraging me through them. I could hear the echoes of God's love. Here are 3 brief stories.

Unhealed wounds
I received a voice message from a student I met at a conference in Lyon. She had also experienced God's deep love for her while in England at a church. There was a man she met, who helped open her heart more to God. There were some wounds from her past that He was wanting to heal. He clearly wanted her to faced them and know that He loved her so much in spite of all the hurt. I was not only encouraged by her story but I could also pray for her knowing that God really wanted to heal her. Her faith was strengthened and so was mine. I told her to keep sharing her story because maybe He could use it to bring healing to others.

Blue Niagara

Genuine enthusiasm
Another person who contacted me was a student I briefly met a couple times. She actually signed up to receive my prayer letter and updates without me being aware. Ever since, she has been reading about all what God has been doing. When she contacted me, she told me that she was thankful for what I was doing and was encouraged. She said that she was praying for me, her enthusiasm really affirmed me. It's always nice when a French person is excited about me doing ministry in their country. The lyrics to the song "Oceans" made her think of me and how God was leading me; she shared some of the lyrics with me. What was even more providential was that we had sung that same song at church a couple days before. Wow! And I even received a passage from Matthew 15 from her; it's when Peter walks on water. I plan to study it this week.
"Oceans" (the song)

Mutually inspired
This last young woman who contacted me is truly an inspiration to us all. If you knew her story, you couldn't help but be amazed and clearly see the love of God in her. She told me that she was inspired by my trust in God. It's crazy because I want to say "You inspire me!". I guess the feeling is mutual. Her written words were ones that not only confirm that God blesses us but also affirms us in his work. These are the moments when God reveals himself and tells us that He not only exists but is working through us, in us and all around us.


I saved all these messages so that if ever I am discouraged, I'll read them. I just cannot imagine what God is going to do next...

Out pouring of love

This is my experience going to give a presentation about the student ministry in France at a Chinese church in Boston. 

God answers prayer. I walked to the CCCNE (Chinese Christian Church of New England) after I had prayed that I would understand. To my surprise God provided a nice young man to translate most of the sermon. While he was translating, I felt this incredible surge of love from God. I was so overwhelmed that he provided exactly what I needed and was telling me how much he loved me. It was a constant out pouring of his love that filled my heart. How intense! How incredible! I even had visions of a man and a woman sharing an intimate moment (It wasn't too explicit). I could feel the intense love between the husband and his wife. The love of God poured out on me was the most incredible feeling. It's like bliss in a moment.