Let's get started!

I am slowly easing into life here in Nancy. After a week and a half, and I still feel like everything is so new. I'm trying to figure out where to plant myself as well as how to be of use to Isabelle and the GBU students.

There are two students who I am excited to get to know more. One is from Indonesia. She shines with a her constant smile and is very approachable. It doesn't surprise me that her peers ask her about her faith. I was happy to get her a Bible for a friend. Amazingly the Bible was quickly delivered and well received.

German influence in Nancy

Another student started talking to me in English at the end of the Bible study because she wants to practice it before she goes on a mission trip this summer. This past week, she recently led her first Bible study, which went well.

These are some open doors that I have seen. I hope to find more opportunities to know how I can invest in students, encourage them and give them the resources they might need. Repeatedly, I have been told that the ministry that I do involves equipping students and sometimes indirectly leading others closer to Christ. Though I so desire to get my hands dirty and build relationships with those who don't know Christ; I do see a great reason to equip students to do this exact same thing. I hope to enable and be enabled to reach students for Christ by whatever means possible.

Remember

After a long stretch of sheer dependence on God to move mountains through my financial support, He provided a way for me to return to France. I am in awe and wonder of all he has taught me. Even as I look back on all he has done, I still can't believe that I am here. I didn't do a single thing but pray with his spirit strengthening me; the rest is completely accredited to God. "All to him I owe."


Lately, I have been ready through the Psalms about 2 per day. As I get up into the hundreds, they get longer and are not just filled with just praises, but reminders of when man disobeyed God, yet God rescued and love him anyway. I see that I have the same issues as the sons of Abraham & Adam. I keep stumbling and coming back to my senses by God's grace.

"Remember," he says softly to me, "Remember." I must remember what he has done. I cannot forget his faithfulness. He met me where I was and pulled me out of the slimy pit of discouragement and doubt. He gave me the faith to believe that I would get out of my circumstances and praise him. I don't want to forget. It's so easy for us to forget how we got to where we were in the first place. The very reason that Jesus died on the cross was to give us life, and here we are walking and breathing purely by the grace of God. I just want to hold on to all the memories but sadly I will forget. Thankfully he will always be there to remind me...

P.S. Enjoy the random scenes in Nancy.

Rue Bénit "Blessed street"

Surprising encounter

Copley square: Where I caught the bus home

During the beginning stages of a snow storm, I went to see a friend who was in town. While on the bus I met a woman and we started talking. I told her that I worked for InterVarsity and she knew of it. She said that she had friends who were involved. I was able to share with conviction about how I worked in France and the needs there for people to hear the Gospel. And I also told her that I was fundraising. She knew another staff who does the same and could see how it was hard to do. In it's defense, I told her that it's a test of faith to raise support, but if we believe in the the God who created the universe, then he can provide. We parted ways and I was glad I met her.

On my return home, we were on the same bus again. Somehow she felt like she should go to the bus stop not knowing if it was coming to not. The timing was too perfect! So we talked again on the way home and I could tell that it wasn't a coincidence that we met. On two express bus rides, we covered life, faith and the future, which are tough subjects to cover with a complete stranger. When we were parting ways, I gave her my card with hopes that we would keep in touch. And I thought that she was about to do the same but instead she made a donation towards the ministry, which I wasn't expecting it. She prayed for me and then we parted ways.

I am amazed how God mysteriously connects us all together. Even though I had never met this woman before, I was encouraged to meet a new person and share a small part of my life with her. Technology has isolated us in so many ways, yet it deceptively makes us feel like we are more connected. Honesty I think it's nice to just have conversation face to face with a person and see them smile.

Trials

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4

Raising the financial support to do my job isn't easy. I have faced so many trials these last 8 months, only God's promises have kept me steadfast. Through the trials, I have realized that this wasn't about me or the money, but instead about God's greater purposes and his willingness to use me in the process.

I am amazed by the generosity of those wanting to financially support me. I was taught to approach everyone I know. Though I have been hesitant to approach everyone, I have contacted students that I met in Paris. I was really surprised by how eager they were to help. Though they may not be rich, their enthusiasm is more than enough to encourage me not underestimate those who want an opportunity to give.

I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I have faced doubt, fear, lies, insecurity, awkwardness... Those are only a few to say the least. The fruit of these trials has been patience, love, trust, joy, contentment, wisdom, hope... Those are only a few. What I have gained from pursuing God's call has been pivotal in my walk with Christ. I would never trade any of these experiences and, if I had to, I would do it all over again. Well I probably will because it's part of my job as a full time missionary.

It's my hope that I may be able to use these experiences to encourage others to pursue God's calling for their lives. Pursuing God is never easy. The obstacles are numerous and the sacrifices are great. The truth is that he will never disappoint or let us down.

Provision from above

For the past 8 months, I have be trying to raise the financial support I need to return to France. It's apart of my job and I knew it would be hard. Now I'm starting to see why it's so important. This is a message I recently sent to someone who is considering going into full time ministry:

I was thinking again about the answer to your question: How long does it take to fundraise? Honestly I really don't know. God is the one who will initially provide for you. His timing isn't the same as ours. I'm in my second round of "extended support raising" and it feels like it's taking forever. I don't think there are any guarantees for how long it will take. And the number of people you think to ask isn't always a huge factor (to success) because the people I thought would give didn't and complete strangers were surprisingly generous. I think your motivation and sense of calling is huge because that will help you to boldly ask. I hope this scary but exciting aspect of ministry won't sway your decision if you really do feel called. If God is calling you, you'll go and have everything you need.


I wrote this without thinking how much it applies to me. I have been using my time and energy focusing on God's provision, but I can honestly say that I have been less focused on God and more focused on myself and the provision itself. No wonder doubt and fear enter my mind, there is no possible way for me to provide for myself. There is nothing that I can do but but trust in the one who gives to those who are in need. The amount doesn't matter because He is the source of everything we could possibly need.

Really honest

I'm going to be real with you now. I'm not one to be so vulnerable and transparent, but this is worth sharing however comfortable it is. Today I wrote this email to my friend in a highly restricted country so I had to replace some vocabulary. I hope it makes sense to you.

Dearest Carli,

Thank you so much for this encouraging email, I'm blessed to see it today because I was feeling really discouraged. I am inspired to ask our father for impossible things, I'll start with 6 but I'll prob ask for more because I'm greedy and overly ambitious ;) So it looks like I won't be going to staff conference after all. I have to tell Renée by Friday, but I don't think it will be the best use of my time (I could be wrong so I still have 3 days to see things clearly). I'm believing (though I've been fighting through unbelief) to be applying for my return visa around the same time. That's one of the 6 things I'm asking for. So I'm leaving next week to Texas for the last push to be fully funded; I'll be there for almost 2 months. On Sunday, a friend of mine said he could triple his monthly giving so I'm believing for miracles like that to come. I have 36% left to raise. This period of support raising has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. These days I feel attacked more and more (honestly it's a weekly occurence). I thanked Dad today for the days I wasn't attacked and felt encouraged.

Like a beautiful leaf that has survived the elements, we are quite similar

Well so far we have seen each other in 3 countries so I hope that we might add a 4th one but I'll be glad to see you anywhere Dad chooses. I'm sorry that I have forgotten to lift you up regularly (besides just through the updates). I'm overjoyed for your healing! I'm thankful and honored to hear from you.

Much love and many thanks to you!

Nia

After writing this email and letting it sit, I came to a realization. I am the most satisfied and fulfilled person that I have ever been. Going through the hardship and struggles has been worth every minute. My prayer life has exploded, I pray constantly (and I could pray even more). I don't feel needy like I have been in the past and I don't fantasize about doing other things. God has allowed me to be completely satisfied in him.

The beautiful colors of fall...

My amazing reward

“Hi Tanya,

Thanks for the email. I could really use a ton prayer. I'm feeling very overwhelmed with everything I'm trying to achieve to be fully funded. It's been a constant battle and it doesn't seem to end. I will be going to Texas for 2 months Nov 3-Dec 28th to raise support and visit family. Please pray that I get more appointments because I don't want to be aimlessly going from one week to the next. I'm trying to plan visits, but I don't have very many. Also I don't really have community down there and it's so easy to get lonely. My parents (who I'm staying with) don't go to church and it's already been hard to be motivated so this might be another huge obstacle. I need so much help; it feels like I'm against impossible odds.

Thanks for the prayers!

Nia”

I sent this email today. Every quarter, the InterVarsity Link coordinators pray for all the staff. I always have requests because I feel like I’m always struggling with something. Even after I send them, I realize that I forgot some. I don’t think these struggles are going to get any easier. I wonder what I signed up for and if it’s always going to be so hard. I don’t feel equip for this. In no way do I feel strong or able.

My amazing reward from this battle is faith. I’m able to believe for others. Today I received a message from a friend. I have been praying for her cousin to be healed from cancer. To my surprise her cousin told her that she was healed.

“Your glory fills the whole earth”. Recently I was doing some listening prayer with my supervisor Renée. I had so much I wanted to listen for, but the first words she received were “powerless” and “overwhelmed”. So we listened for these two words. The image I received was of drops of water coming down from one finger. The drops morphed and covered the entire earth. The verse from Isaiah 6:3 came to my mind: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”