3 month reflections on my sabbatical

Written April 4, 2024

My staff coordinator Renée sent me an email with some questions: Before we meet, it would be helpful for you to send me some of what you’ve been learning/experiencing on sabbatical as well as what you’re thinking is best for your post-sabbatical/post masters. Continue to work with Link? GBU? Full-time? Part-time? If so, where? What role?

Learning

I am learning a lot about my need for community. It’s the subject of my thesis, and I have come to the realization of how great a need I have for it. In March on a retreat at l’Abri, I had a good conversation about my longing for home and to be settled somewhere. Since being in the states, I have

experienced feelings of restless due to having my stuff in different places. I really desire a place to leave me stuff, but I also want this place to be shared space because people have modeled sharing their space with me. I really want to live somewhere and stay for a while, I’m tired of moving around.

Another thing I am learning is relationships are complicated and hard to keep. I don’t think I always understand people and I know they don’t always understand me, but I want to be intentional with the people that God has put on my path and love them as they are.

Experiencing

This has been a busy season despite the fact that I was hoping to rest. I planned to do much more than is possible. Working at an internship and writing a master’s thesis are a lot of work. Visiting my sister and her family has been nice but it’s tiring to go back and forth so I have tried to build community while living in Newburyport. I have experienced feeling like a foreigner in my own country. I feel the loneliness of not fitting in but I still desire to live in community.

I am very thankful for:

• My apartment with a view of the Merrimack River, it’s restful and peaceful
• The Makerspace, Mary the director and the people I get to see every week
• My niece Sloane, my sister and her husband, it’s nice to live near family and friends
• Old South Presbyterian church, I’m glad to have found a church in Newburyport
• Hilary who has been accompanying me through my Sabbatical

Thinking for post-sabbatical/post masters

I would like to continue working for the GBU/Link part time. I’m not sure about what I will be doing in the summer besides MPD and writing my thesis.

I enjoy the Makerspace culture, it’s an inviting place to create community and make connections. I would really love to set up a Makerspace in France, even if I just start to do art workshops in a borrowed space. I would love for this space to be a meeting place for people of all walks of life; a place where we can share our stories.

If so, where would you like to serve? 

I’m going to ask the GBU staff where I could be the most useful to serve. I really want to be in a place where I already know people, I really don’t think I have the energy to start again. I am not sure if I have enough deep ties to stay in Brittany, but I do love the region and the people. Ideally I prefer to be in a bigger city.

I have thought about going back to Nancy or maybe Nantes. Considering what I have been thinking, my only feasible options are Nancy, Nantes or a bigger city in Brittany. With what I know about the GBU there are needs in all those places but I want to talk to Marion and Yoh to have a better idea.

What role?

I want to be a person of resource to students and help them get new groups off the ground. I feel like I have done that without realizing it. I want to help where there are needs. I want to host and be hospitable. I want to welcome people outside the church “those on the outside looking in” and to be a friend to people on the margins. I want to work with artists and give them opportunities to grow and thrive in their art and spiritual life. I am really not sure what my role will look like, but I want to have more time and space to care for people.

Online meetings

Not too long ao, I was amazed recently to see a student show up to an online meeting. Since the beginning of not being able to meet in person, we have lost many students. She was quite adament to not go to online meetings. For her it was either meeting in person or not at all. I completey respected her choice. If I have the choice, I probably would have done the same.

When started to do outings in the park, more students came than to online meetings. This wasn't a surprise. However, I was surprised to see that new students came and the one who disappeared didn't.

I keep a file of pics of our online meetings and in person. Both are valuable. I enjoy every moment that we can meet especially when it comes to interacting with God's word and sharing our thoughts. There is so much to learn and I feel like I've been growing even in adveristy (or challenges of living in times of COVID).

Three Stories

 Jingjing

I met Jingjing a Chinese student through Elizabeth another student from Indonesia, who was involved in the GBU my first year living in Nancy. Even though Elizabeth was from a country where Christians are persecuted, she was excited to share her faith and love for life with everyone. After Elizabeth finished her masters, I stayed in contact with Jingjing and invited her to different events GBU. Sometimes we hung out and had meals together. Since I lived in Macau south east China, I have had a love for everything Chinese.

 

For the most part, Jingjing was mostly interested in coming to the GBU for language purposes. She wanted to learn French and she was already pretty strong in English so she came to the group we have for English speakers. She went to church with Elizabeth a couple times and once with me.

 

We never really read the Bible together but I tried to have conversations with her and other Christians she met did too. I bought her a Bible that I’m not even sure if she read unless she came to the group. I knew that she was skeptical about Christianity but that prevented me to build a friendship with her.

 

She came to one of our GBU Christmas parties, which for evangelistic purposes. She brought along with her some of her Chinese snacks to share. I worried what the students wouldn’t touch them because they aren’t always so open to new things. A student and her friend were standing near the food table near us and asked us who bought the snacks (which were Jingjing’s). We told them and they said they tried each kind! For me I thought that their testimony spoke loudly because she and her culture were accepted and appreciated. 

 

She left Nancy still not yet Christian but I believe that the Lord planted some deep seeds of his love and acceptance in her. I hope and pray that He keeps pursuing her and giving her opportunities to know him more.

 

Tommy

Léopaul a former student leader studies life science. His peers all knew he was a Christian and they would tease for it. He got to know one of his classmates Tommy and started having spiritual conversations with him. One time he asked me if I could arrive early to welcome people because he was going to have a beer with Tommy and his girlfriend and talk about God.

 

Then Tommy started to come to the GBU. He was quiet and timid but he came often. In March just before the first lockdown he came; there were a few of us. He talked a little but not much. I didn’t know then but God was doing something in him because Léo shared with us in September during our leaders’ weekend that Tommy became a Christian. I was amazed. And when I saw him again during at the group, he seemed so different. He was even interacting more with the passage and in the group. He shared more than I ever had seen. It was like seeing something awakened in him.

 

Wen

He’s a student doing his thesis. He faithfully comes to the group and it seems likes he absorbs the word of God like it’s food for his soul. He is either really close to becoming a Christian or has become a Christian without realizing it. He was involved with 2 GBU groups, one in Metz and the other in Nancy where he was doing his studies, but now he’s based in Nancy. I’ve been so encouraged to see how the Lord has used many different students to share the Gospel with him. His understanding of the text is astounding. Yet I can see his humble heart and almost child-like manner of being. We have been praying for Wen for a while to commit his life to Christ, I feel like it’s only a matter of time.

Easter giveaway

For a while, I’ve been frustrated with being stuck at home. I wanted to get out and meet students. So for Easter, we decided to pass out chocolate and tell students about Easter (and the GBU naturally). We had bags of chocolate eggs with bible verses from Luke 24. Amazingly, we went to 6 campuses with 3 different students (2 students were motivated to come out twice). Each day a student came and Sarah came a few day (she’s interning with the GBU). 

 

We had some good conversations and told many students where Easter comes from. There were very few students who could explain the meaning of Easter. Surprisingly some didn’t accept the free candy, but we talked to them anyway. Two students we talked to, who claimed to not be religious (most likely atheists), asked very good questions. Another guy told us he had heard of the GBU because he saw the posters on his campus. There were some students interested in the GBU so maybe they will join us.

One our last day I had a strange encouter with a guy. I was giving away candy on the engineering campus, and I offered a guy a bag of chocolate. He got really sad and put his head down. I continued talking to the girl sitting with him and she took a bag but he didn'tThere was something about the Bible or what I said that made him sad. Pray that Jesus heals his wounds. Pray that we would be more sensitive to students coming to our groups who have been hurt by religion and the church.

Outline for an Intercessory Prayer Meeting

Outline for an Intercessory Prayer Meeting

For a group of 3-20, for approx 1 hour. Gather in a comfortable circle, in a quiet place. One person should lead the meeting. That person should initiate all the transitions. 

Praise

Come to the Lord in a free spirit of praise and thanksgiving. Use guitar, acapella voices, worship music on a speaker, sentence prayers of praise, words of God’s attributes, a reading of a jubilant Psalm - essentially whatever works. 

Confession

Open up a time of confession. Offer the participants the freedom of speaking out loud or internally to the Lord, whichever is safe. A gentle nudge toward out loud, as a move towards freedom is encouraged, and can be modeled by the leader. It will enhance the vulnerability and honesty of the group. The leader can close with a blanket confession, “Lord we offer you the sins we know and those we don’t know, please have mercy as we come to pray.” Remember together that God is faithful to forgive if we confess our sin. (I John 1:9)

Protection

Pray prayers of protection such as “hide us in the shelter of your wings Lord  (Psalm 61:4)”. Ask that what happens in this prayer time would be only the Lord’s will and that together we would be kept far from the evil one.  

Prayer topic

Explain to the group what the prayer topic is. This has been discerned earlier by the leader. It should be clear and specific, so that one would know in the future whether or not there was an answer. 

Listening

Open up a time of silence to incline the members ears to the Lord regarding the prayer topic. The question here is “Lord how do you want us to pray for this?” or even, “How are you praying for this?” (given that Jesus is at the right hand of the father making intercession for us - Romans 8:34). Move into silence for at least five minutes. This can be uncomfortable at first, but press in. 

Individuals may “hear” God in many different ways. Some may have: a scripture come to mind, an image or picture form in their mind’s eye, a strong impression or idea, a memory, a bodily sensation (like a pain in the chest, or sinking feeling in the gut), or absolutely nothing. 

Reporting and Discerning

Go around the circle and share what each one received from God. The leader should encourage humility in sharing (“I thinkthis was from God”) as well as boldness for those who may be reluctant to speak. As each one shares, ask the group to listen for common themes, or for God to highlight a particular word. Discus together what it seems that God is saying and agree on a plan for prayer. 

Intercession

Pray into that specific area, as the group is led. Pray until you get a sense of “breakthrough” in the spiritual realm. Often you can denote breakthrough as the tone of prayer shifts from fervency to peace. Trust that a shift has been made in the spiritual realm and look forward to seeing the answers to the prayers offered in the natural realm. 

Closing

Close by thanking the Lord for leading and guiding you and giving you the chance to pray. Bless the participants. End at the agreed upon time, so as to honor those that came. 

Source: Connie Anderson adaption of Hallie Cowen’s adaptation of a YWAM prayer guide.

What happened?

Yesterday after having lunch with a student, I got really bad headache. I don’t get many headaches so it was strange. We had had a nice conversation and I mostly wanted to encourage her in her faith because she’s a young Christian facing many life challenges but her hunger for God’s word is inspiring. When I got home, the headache was so debilitating that I just laid on my couch and slept. I woke up and my head still hurt so I prayed and asked a friend to pray. In the evening, we planned to have a GBU group and I lead the study. I told God I was going and I was very firm on the decision. My head still hurt but I went. I thought there would be 3 of us, all Christians. Oh was I wrong! The 2 students invited: one is Muslim and the other abandoned his faith a while ago and is slowly coming back to Jesus. We met in a park so there were 3 people we met before we started. We shared our snacks with them and invited them to join us. We started and it was awesome because the 3 people came back during the discussion to join us. I don’t think any of them are Chrsitian but they were open. One student shared Gospel and another invited them to his church. I was so blessed to be there and participe in spite of my headache. When I got home I was even more pain than earlier, even lights were blinding. But I was so thankful and happy that I didn’t cancel because of some pain. God faithfully led our group to be witnesses. Praise Jesus!

A life transformed

I want to share about a student, who came seeking and a bit skeptical and who now is walking with the Lord. I'm keeping her name anonymous to protect her identity. If you want to know more about her, please feel free to ask. And if you come to France, I'll introduce you to her ☺️

She is a French student, who started coming to the GBU (InterVarsity France). She had so many questions about the Bible and about Christians. Her doubts led her to seek more and ask more questions. I believe that her openness and the love of the students in the group allowed her to be comfortable to keep seeking and going further with the Lord. I can see that God lead her closer to Jesus step by step. It started with a conversation with a Christian friend, then getting sick and being stuck in bed so she took it as an opportunity to read the Bible for herself. 

After her sickness, she started her school year and a friend's sister was in the same city as she was. So, she got invited to the GBU and come with all her curiosity and questions. Then she started coming to our group in English and started asking more questions not just about the Bible but also about our personal relationship with the Lord. When she went to church, she was touched by the faith of the people there and desired it for herself, so she kept going. 

At some point through this process, she committed herself to knowing Jesus more and going deeper. I have been able to read the Bible with her and she also has Christian friends with whom she can have discussions. She still has so much to learn and needs to build a stronger foundation, but I can see her already being transformed. She's not the same person she was before. Knowing her has given me hope. I have hope to believe that many students like her will encounter Jesus. In France, people are skeptical and opposed to the Gospel. I believe that I can have the opportunity so see more lives transformed by the love and grace of Jesus.

Loneliness & Isolation

 Where to begin? I should say that God created his children to live in community, we are created in his image to live alongside one another. It’s not always easy, but necessary for our survival. He gave Adam Eve and all of his other children someone to walk alongside them. Even Jesus his son, who was completely human and completely God, had 12 close friends. This isn’t a post on marriage or friendship so I’ll stop there.

When it comes to loneliness and isolation, I go through periods when I moved to a new place or started something new. I don’t know anyone and I have to find my place in a new place. This time it was coming to Nancy. I have already moved so much so I thought I would be a pro by now. Apparently, I’m not. I get lonely like every other human being on this earth. Even if it’s just for a period, I think it could even be healthy.

I realized that I was having a hard time when I kept thinking about leaving France. I would say to myself, “If it doesn’t work out here, I could always go home.” My comfort was knowing that I could escape. It wasn’t like I was depressed just struggling to make friends and get settled into a routine and life that I was excited to live.

As I write this, I’m still in the period of isolation and loneliness. I don’t think the feelings have completely gone away, but they are having less of an impact on my decision making. I want to do things so that I won’t feel alone or different. I want to feel included and not struggle with feeling like a foreigner. I have already lived in France for more than 4 years and sometimes I feel like I just arrived. The only advantage is that I have a good grasp on the language.

My comfort came when I read 1 Kings 19 while listening to a training podcast. It was so helpful to know that I wasn’t alone. The man who led it is now our InterVarsity president and I was surprised to hear his struggles which seemed much worse than mine. He and his wife were physically isolated and also not integrated in the culture. On the other hand, I can communicate almost exactly what I am thinking and Starbucks arrived this past summer. Seriously it’s the little things that help me keep my sanity.

When I read the story of Elijah in the desert completely isolated and discouraged also wanting to give up and die; I said, “It’s not that bad for me.” I realized that I was too focused on myself and what I was lacking. It was when God took care of him in the desert that he gained a new perspective on his situation. In the same way, God revealed himself to me. He showed me that he was all I needed and that he gives me everything I could ever possibly need, nothing more nothing less. He brought me back to the source and awaken me to his inner workings in my life. I was ripped out of my comfort zone only to come to realize that I can depend on him.

“As a deer longs for streams of water so my soul longs for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1

He slowly gave me these nourishing drops of water. He didn’t give them all at once just enough for the moment and then he would invite me to come back for more. What have I learned from all of this? God has a purpose in everything he does. He wants to teach us and mold us. Sometimes it’s hard and painful to accept his method but once we do it’s refreshing. He draws us into a loving relationship with him. Even though I still have these feelings, I can recognize God’s tender voice calling me closer to him. The fact that he cares for me so much and would take me through all this means he loves me. His grace is in sending Jesus so that I can have a relationship with him. He allows me to experience a loneliness that draws me nearer to him. It’s so perfect and complicated. I try not to understand everything just trust God has some crazy plan that will be for my benefit and also benefit others.

Embrace this loneliness and isolation with me and find a Savior on the other side...

Building friendships & self awareness

Would you invest in a friendship with someone you knew was leaving? Would you make an effort to get to know them even if you might not see them again?

Who are you really?

I'm in the season of seeing friends come and go. It's not that I have driven them away, it's just that they planned to leave before I arrived. I see that the limited time I have with them is precious. We all can learn and grow through relationships even if it's for a short time. There's kind of a romantic aspect to my story, though I'm not really a romantic. I like meeting people and getting to know them. I wonder though if I'm missing out on longer term friendships. I can't say for certain. I hope that this season doesn't last too long because it's kind of cruel. I'm already a new person in a new place. My hope is to build a life for myself and not be constantly uprooted. I cannot choose where I'll be longterm but I can try to enjoy where I am now.


I believe that a good friend is hard to find. It takes time, energy and faith. You never really know a person even after several years of friendship. It's really easy to hide parts of yourself and not reveal it right away. Since I've started living in France, I have realized that I have several personas. Nia the American in France, Nia the American in the US, Nia the French-speaking American in France, Nia daughter of Tina and David and sister to Conor and Tiffany. Each persona is different depending on who I'm with. Who really knows me? Who thinks they know me but are completely wrong? I wouldn't be surprised if that were everyone including me. There is a certain beauty to getting to know someone. There are always surprises. I am constantly surprised how many clichés and stereotypes have influenced my thinking. Even a person's appearance can be deceiving. I hope that I can be known and keep building relationships despite the many obstacles I face. God knows who we are completely and still loves us. My prayer is to have grace for others and receive grace in return. This small act brings us closer to God and into a deeper relationship with him.

My prayer and desire is that we may see ourselves and others for who we truly are. I am inspired by the verse in 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord tells the prophet Samuel to not be deceived when he saw David who would be the future king of Israel. Instead God wanted him to see who he really was.
"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

The reason why I am in France

The short answer to why I'm in France is for students to know Christ; I'm like a messenger. But since it's better and clearer to explain, I'll do my best to try.

I came to France knowing that is was a difficult place to be a Christian and that there were far many more atheists and people indifferent to religion than in the US. I knew that I wanted to stand boldly for Christ and encourage others to do the same. I didn't realize what that really meant until I started going through the application process. Now that I have gone through the fire by completing an application in French for the GBU, then an even longer one in English for InterVarsity. Now that I have overcome the challenging task of raising my financial support, I can focus on my task: standing boldly for Christ and encouraging others to do the same.

I wasn't naive enough to think it would happen at once, but I hoped that maybe after 6 months I would see some fruit. I have to confess my lack of patience because it doesn't always show right away. The groups that I helped with were predominately Christian. I felt like we met weekly to show off what we knew about the Bible. Even though I knew that we could still learn and grow, I felt something was missing. They were actually people who were missing. Those who didn't know Christ. I have to admit most groups have a couple students who aren't Christian. One group had a Muslim student come all year and another group had a guy very open but without a religion who was invited by his Catholic friend. But for the most part, the groups were filled with Christians. I wonder now if I was really encouraging or if I got used to the groups as they were. Maybe their friends didn't want to come.

This year, I'm being more intentional. I have committed myself to pray daily for the students who don't know Christ to come to the groups. I don't know how they will come, but God will bring them. Last night, I hope again that it might really happen. Here's the post I put on Facebook and a reason to praise God.

Me, Elizabeth & our fav snack

"I forgot to mention this. But last night as we said good-bye to Elizabeth, we said hello to 2 of her friends who are not Christian. They came because they were invited and were able to participate in our discussion. It was amazing to see how Elizabeth could share this moment with her friends who don't know Christ. We kept smiling at each other through the study because I could see how excited she was. Praise God for bold, self-less students!

This has been my daily prayer, I truly desire to reach out to those who don't know the Bible or Christ. I don't want our groups to be exclusive especially to students who can truly benefit. Please pray with me that more will come hungry to hear what the Bible has to say."

Saturday Strolls

On Saturdays, I've gone on strolls in Nancy. It's been a good way to get to know the city and find inexpensive ways to entertain myself.

>>> My first stroll, I started walking down a street to see where it went. I took only my keys least I be tempted by a boulangerie or something else I don't need. I enjoyed the sights to see and the names of apartment buildings that were taken from regions in France: Alsace, Bourgogne, Lorraine... On my way home, I found some useful trash that someone had thrown out. I picked it up and walked quickly away, just in case they changed their mind.





<<< For second stroll, I decided to take myself out on a free evening date. I enjoyed the silent, illuminated streets without feeling in danger. I felt the advantages of being in a small city and enjoyed being outside at night as a single woman.










>>> On the third one, I took the tram to the terminus and walked home. To my surprise, the end of the line isn't very exciting, but the walk back was lovely. I saw a cute little park, the river, bridges decorated with flowers and I even bought a few needed items.

My recent stroll had a mission. I wanted to find the secondhand, warehouse-like shop Emmaüs without getting lost. On the map, I realized that I could take the same street almost all the way there. I had no idea how direct it was to get there after I went the first time. I literally went out of my way for no reason. The flip side was that I did have an enjoyable time that day. I didn't take a photo of my recent walk so below is from the time I got lost.

I wonder where my next stroll will lead me. Will they run out quickly after I have seen the entire city? Naw! Pas possible.

Jour férié

View from my successful visits

Today Thursday the 25 of May, I decided to visit a few campuses. It's a nice day with the sun shining, it feels like summer. Every campus I went to was desolate, not a person in sight. I thought maybe the school was already over, even though we still have a GBU group meeting. I figured that there would be a few people hanging around especially because I went the day before to a couple other campuses. Still I didn't think it was a waste of time because I prayed and meditated since there were no other distractions. 

Now let me explain what is a jour férié. It's a holiday in France. Only a few match with ones in the states so I never really think about them and I keep working all the same. On this day, the 25 of May, it's a jour férié. The French like their jours fériés and they always recognize them, expect for the unfortunate people in selected stores and restaurants. 

Then the moment clicked, everyone was happily elsewhere celebrating their jour férié. I caught a bus and was out of there. Thank God that there was one coming in a minute because the buses only run every hour on jours fériés. At least I learned to check the schedule correctly. I guess I still haven't passed my France 101 course. 😆

2 Rencontres

J'aimerais partager avec vous 2 rencontres que j'avais avec Dieu:

Ma conversion et mon appel de faire un ministère auprès les étudiants. 

J'ai rencontré le Seigneur quand j'étais au lycée. Je ne peux pas dire que j'ai grandi dans une famille chrétienne. On fréquentait des églises parce que c'était ma mère qui nous a forcé d'y aller. Donc chaque matin j'ai essayé écouter le pasteur mais je n'ai rien compris. Normalement mon père est tombée endormi et ma sœur lui donnait un petit coude pour qu'il ne puisse pas ronflé.

Au moment donné on a arrêté aller à Eglise et j'étais contente. Pour moi c'était ennuyante d'y aller et je ne comprenais pas le but. Et je voulais faire des autres activités qui m'intéressais plus. Par contre Dieu ne m'a pas laissé comme ça. Il avait toujours un plan. Quand j'ai commencé lycée, j'ai commencé sentir vide. J'étais une bonne élève. J'avais les bons notes, j'étais athlète, j'avais des amis, tout était "parfait" mais je n'étais pas contente avec ma vie. Donc j'ai commencé chercher quelques pour remplir le vide. Pour résumé mes exploits, je suis très reconnaissante de ne pas faire trop de bêtises avant de retourner à l'église. C'était ma sœur qui est retournée au départ. Elle était invitée au groupe de jeunes grâce à sa copine. À l'époque, on a partagé une chambre donc elle m'a rencontré ce qui s'est passé. En fait, j'étais jalouse qu'elle m'a pas invité toute suite. Mais après qq temps je suis venue avec elle et j'ai vu des choses incroyables. J'ai vu avec mes propres yeux les jeunes qui ont vraiment aimé Dieu et qui étais joyeux d'être à l'église. Ils avaient la vraie joie que j'ai cherché. J'ai commencé fréquenter le group et une soirée notre pastor a fait une invitation de connaître Jésus. J'étais prête. Donc j'ai levé ma main et puis j'ai prie la prière de repentance et accepter Jésus comme Seigneur. Pour moi c'était le moment qui va changer toute ma vie. 

Après le soif et faim pour la parole de Dieu m'est venu. Pas longtemps après, j'ai commencé mes études à la fac. Je suis très reconnaissante d'avoir trouvé un groupe avec qui je peux étudier la Bible plus profondément.

J'avance 12 ans pour la deuxième rencontre. Matthieu 9.36-38

Je suis venu en France pour étudier le français. Vers la date de la fin de mon visa, je me suis rendu compte que je ne peux pas quitté la France. Pendant ce temps de réflexion, j'ai commencé prier régulièrement pendant des heures dans le jardin où j'habitais. J'ai réfléchi sur les versets en Matthieu de la moisson. J'étais déjà engagé dans mon église avec le groupe de jeune, chorale, évangélisation. Mais je voulais faire encore plus. Grâce à mon église, j'ai trouvé un groupe des étudiants qui étudiait la Bible qui s'appelait les GBU, Groupes Biblique Universitaires. Quand je voyais ces étudiants qui avaient soif pour la parole de Dieu et ils avaient vraiment envie de partager leur foi avec leurs amis non-chrétiens, j'étais inspirée. Je voulais leur soutenir parce que je voyais aussi les obstacles. Dans ce groupe j'ai commencé sentir un appel pour faire la mission en France. Après beaucoup de prière et des conversations importantes, je me suis lancée dans un nouveau aventure avec le Seigneur. J'ai jamais regretté ma décision. Ça fait trois ans que je suis dans le ministère. Je m'étais jamais si contente dans ma vie. E

Dieu nous appelle de lui faire connaître. Et puis il nous envoie vers les autres. Nous sommes tous appelé de témoigner de lui.

Let's get started!

I am slowly easing into life here in Nancy. After a week and a half, and I still feel like everything is so new. I'm trying to figure out where to plant myself as well as how to be of use to Isabelle and the GBU students.

There are two students who I am excited to get to know more. One is from Indonesia. She shines with a her constant smile and is very approachable. It doesn't surprise me that her peers ask her about her faith. I was happy to get her a Bible for a friend. Amazingly the Bible was quickly delivered and well received.

German influence in Nancy

Another student started talking to me in English at the end of the Bible study because she wants to practice it before she goes on a mission trip this summer. This past week, she recently led her first Bible study, which went well.

These are some open doors that I have seen. I hope to find more opportunities to know how I can invest in students, encourage them and give them the resources they might need. Repeatedly, I have been told that the ministry that I do involves equipping students and sometimes indirectly leading others closer to Christ. Though I so desire to get my hands dirty and build relationships with those who don't know Christ; I do see a great reason to equip students to do this exact same thing. I hope to enable and be enabled to reach students for Christ by whatever means possible.

Remember

After a long stretch of sheer dependence on God to move mountains through my financial support, He provided a way for me to return to France. I am in awe and wonder of all he has taught me. Even as I look back on all he has done, I still can't believe that I am here. I didn't do a single thing but pray with his spirit strengthening me; the rest is completely accredited to God. "All to him I owe."


Lately, I have been ready through the Psalms about 2 per day. As I get up into the hundreds, they get longer and are not just filled with just praises, but reminders of when man disobeyed God, yet God rescued and love him anyway. I see that I have the same issues as the sons of Abraham & Adam. I keep stumbling and coming back to my senses by God's grace.

"Remember," he says softly to me, "Remember." I must remember what he has done. I cannot forget his faithfulness. He met me where I was and pulled me out of the slimy pit of discouragement and doubt. He gave me the faith to believe that I would get out of my circumstances and praise him. I don't want to forget. It's so easy for us to forget how we got to where we were in the first place. The very reason that Jesus died on the cross was to give us life, and here we are walking and breathing purely by the grace of God. I just want to hold on to all the memories but sadly I will forget. Thankfully he will always be there to remind me...

P.S. Enjoy the random scenes in Nancy.

Rue Bénit "Blessed street"

Surprising encounter

Copley square: Where I caught the bus home

During the beginning stages of a snow storm, I went to see a friend who was in town. While on the bus I met a woman and we started talking. I told her that I worked for InterVarsity and she knew of it. She said that she had friends who were involved. I was able to share with conviction about how I worked in France and the needs there for people to hear the Gospel. And I also told her that I was fundraising. She knew another staff who does the same and could see how it was hard to do. In it's defense, I told her that it's a test of faith to raise support, but if we believe in the the God who created the universe, then he can provide. We parted ways and I was glad I met her.

On my return home, we were on the same bus again. Somehow she felt like she should go to the bus stop not knowing if it was coming to not. The timing was too perfect! So we talked again on the way home and I could tell that it wasn't a coincidence that we met. On two express bus rides, we covered life, faith and the future, which are tough subjects to cover with a complete stranger. When we were parting ways, I gave her my card with hopes that we would keep in touch. And I thought that she was about to do the same but instead she made a donation towards the ministry, which I wasn't expecting it. She prayed for me and then we parted ways.

I am amazed how God mysteriously connects us all together. Even though I had never met this woman before, I was encouraged to meet a new person and share a small part of my life with her. Technology has isolated us in so many ways, yet it deceptively makes us feel like we are more connected. Honesty I think it's nice to just have conversation face to face with a person and see them smile.

Trials

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4

Raising the financial support to do my job isn't easy. I have faced so many trials these last 8 months, only God's promises have kept me steadfast. Through the trials, I have realized that this wasn't about me or the money, but instead about God's greater purposes and his willingness to use me in the process.

I am amazed by the generosity of those wanting to financially support me. I was taught to approach everyone I know. Though I have been hesitant to approach everyone, I have contacted students that I met in Paris. I was really surprised by how eager they were to help. Though they may not be rich, their enthusiasm is more than enough to encourage me not underestimate those who want an opportunity to give.

I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I have faced doubt, fear, lies, insecurity, awkwardness... Those are only a few to say the least. The fruit of these trials has been patience, love, trust, joy, contentment, wisdom, hope... Those are only a few. What I have gained from pursuing God's call has been pivotal in my walk with Christ. I would never trade any of these experiences and, if I had to, I would do it all over again. Well I probably will because it's part of my job as a full time missionary.

It's my hope that I may be able to use these experiences to encourage others to pursue God's calling for their lives. Pursuing God is never easy. The obstacles are numerous and the sacrifices are great. The truth is that he will never disappoint or let us down.

Provision from above

For the past 8 months, I have be trying to raise the financial support I need to return to France. It's apart of my job and I knew it would be hard. Now I'm starting to see why it's so important. This is a message I recently sent to someone who is considering going into full time ministry:

I was thinking again about the answer to your question: How long does it take to fundraise? Honestly I really don't know. God is the one who will initially provide for you. His timing isn't the same as ours. I'm in my second round of "extended support raising" and it feels like it's taking forever. I don't think there are any guarantees for how long it will take. And the number of people you think to ask isn't always a huge factor (to success) because the people I thought would give didn't and complete strangers were surprisingly generous. I think your motivation and sense of calling is huge because that will help you to boldly ask. I hope this scary but exciting aspect of ministry won't sway your decision if you really do feel called. If God is calling you, you'll go and have everything you need.


I wrote this without thinking how much it applies to me. I have been using my time and energy focusing on God's provision, but I can honestly say that I have been less focused on God and more focused on myself and the provision itself. No wonder doubt and fear enter my mind, there is no possible way for me to provide for myself. There is nothing that I can do but but trust in the one who gives to those who are in need. The amount doesn't matter because He is the source of everything we could possibly need.

Really honest

I'm going to be real with you now. I'm not one to be so vulnerable and transparent, but this is worth sharing however comfortable it is. Today I wrote this email to my friend in a highly restricted country so I had to replace some vocabulary. I hope it makes sense to you.

Dearest Carli,

Thank you so much for this encouraging email, I'm blessed to see it today because I was feeling really discouraged. I am inspired to ask our father for impossible things, I'll start with 6 but I'll prob ask for more because I'm greedy and overly ambitious ;) So it looks like I won't be going to staff conference after all. I have to tell Renée by Friday, but I don't think it will be the best use of my time (I could be wrong so I still have 3 days to see things clearly). I'm believing (though I've been fighting through unbelief) to be applying for my return visa around the same time. That's one of the 6 things I'm asking for. So I'm leaving next week to Texas for the last push to be fully funded; I'll be there for almost 2 months. On Sunday, a friend of mine said he could triple his monthly giving so I'm believing for miracles like that to come. I have 36% left to raise. This period of support raising has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. These days I feel attacked more and more (honestly it's a weekly occurence). I thanked Dad today for the days I wasn't attacked and felt encouraged.

Like a beautiful leaf that has survived the elements, we are quite similar

Well so far we have seen each other in 3 countries so I hope that we might add a 4th one but I'll be glad to see you anywhere Dad chooses. I'm sorry that I have forgotten to lift you up regularly (besides just through the updates). I'm overjoyed for your healing! I'm thankful and honored to hear from you.

Much love and many thanks to you!

Nia

After writing this email and letting it sit, I came to a realization. I am the most satisfied and fulfilled person that I have ever been. Going through the hardship and struggles has been worth every minute. My prayer life has exploded, I pray constantly (and I could pray even more). I don't feel needy like I have been in the past and I don't fantasize about doing other things. God has allowed me to be completely satisfied in him.

The beautiful colors of fall...