 |
| Who are you really? |
I'm in the season of seeing friends come and go. It's not that I have driven them away, it's just that they planned to leave before I arrived. I see that the limited time I have with them is precious. We all can learn and grow through relationships even if it's for a short time. There's kind of a romantic aspect to my story, though I'm not really a romantic. I like meeting people and getting to know them. I wonder though if I'm missing out on longer term friendships. I can't say for certain. I hope that this season doesn't last too long because it's kind of cruel. I'm already a new person in a new place. My hope is to build a life for myself and not be constantly uprooted. I cannot choose where I'll be longterm but I can try to enjoy where I am now.
I believe that a good friend is hard to find. It takes time, energy and faith. You never really know a person even after several years of friendship. It's really easy to hide parts of yourself and not reveal it right away. Since I've started living in France, I have realized that I have several personas. Nia the American in France, Nia the American in the US, Nia the French-speaking American in France, Nia daughter of Tina and David and sister to Conor and Tiffany. Each persona is different depending on who I'm with. Who really knows me? Who thinks they know me but are completely wrong? I wouldn't be surprised if that were everyone including me. There is a certain beauty to getting to know someone. There are always surprises. I am constantly surprised how many clichés and stereotypes have influenced my thinking. Even a person's appearance can be deceiving. I hope that I can be known and keep building relationships despite the many obstacles I face. God knows who we are completely and still loves us. My prayer is to have grace for others and receive grace in return. This small act brings us closer to God and into a deeper relationship with him.
My prayer and desire is that we may see ourselves and others for who we truly are. I am inspired by the verse in 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord tells the prophet Samuel to not be deceived when he saw David who would be the future king of Israel. Instead God wanted him to see who he really was.
"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
