Building friendships & self awareness

Would you invest in a friendship with someone you knew was leaving? Would you make an effort to get to know them even if you might not see them again?

Who are you really?

I'm in the season of seeing friends come and go. It's not that I have driven them away, it's just that they planned to leave before I arrived. I see that the limited time I have with them is precious. We all can learn and grow through relationships even if it's for a short time. There's kind of a romantic aspect to my story, though I'm not really a romantic. I like meeting people and getting to know them. I wonder though if I'm missing out on longer term friendships. I can't say for certain. I hope that this season doesn't last too long because it's kind of cruel. I'm already a new person in a new place. My hope is to build a life for myself and not be constantly uprooted. I cannot choose where I'll be longterm but I can try to enjoy where I am now.


I believe that a good friend is hard to find. It takes time, energy and faith. You never really know a person even after several years of friendship. It's really easy to hide parts of yourself and not reveal it right away. Since I've started living in France, I have realized that I have several personas. Nia the American in France, Nia the American in the US, Nia the French-speaking American in France, Nia daughter of Tina and David and sister to Conor and Tiffany. Each persona is different depending on who I'm with. Who really knows me? Who thinks they know me but are completely wrong? I wouldn't be surprised if that were everyone including me. There is a certain beauty to getting to know someone. There are always surprises. I am constantly surprised how many clichés and stereotypes have influenced my thinking. Even a person's appearance can be deceiving. I hope that I can be known and keep building relationships despite the many obstacles I face. God knows who we are completely and still loves us. My prayer is to have grace for others and receive grace in return. This small act brings us closer to God and into a deeper relationship with him.

My prayer and desire is that we may see ourselves and others for who we truly are. I am inspired by the verse in 1 Samuel 16:7, the Lord tells the prophet Samuel to not be deceived when he saw David who would be the future king of Israel. Instead God wanted him to see who he really was.
"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

The reason why I am in France

The short answer to why I'm in France is for students to know Christ; I'm like a messenger. But since it's better and clearer to explain, I'll do my best to try.

I came to France knowing that is was a difficult place to be a Christian and that there were far many more atheists and people indifferent to religion than in the US. I knew that I wanted to stand boldly for Christ and encourage others to do the same. I didn't realize what that really meant until I started going through the application process. Now that I have gone through the fire by completing an application in French for the GBU, then an even longer one in English for InterVarsity. Now that I have overcome the challenging task of raising my financial support, I can focus on my task: standing boldly for Christ and encouraging others to do the same.

I wasn't naive enough to think it would happen at once, but I hoped that maybe after 6 months I would see some fruit. I have to confess my lack of patience because it doesn't always show right away. The groups that I helped with were predominately Christian. I felt like we met weekly to show off what we knew about the Bible. Even though I knew that we could still learn and grow, I felt something was missing. They were actually people who were missing. Those who didn't know Christ. I have to admit most groups have a couple students who aren't Christian. One group had a Muslim student come all year and another group had a guy very open but without a religion who was invited by his Catholic friend. But for the most part, the groups were filled with Christians. I wonder now if I was really encouraging or if I got used to the groups as they were. Maybe their friends didn't want to come.

This year, I'm being more intentional. I have committed myself to pray daily for the students who don't know Christ to come to the groups. I don't know how they will come, but God will bring them. Last night, I hope again that it might really happen. Here's the post I put on Facebook and a reason to praise God.

Me, Elizabeth & our fav snack

"I forgot to mention this. But last night as we said good-bye to Elizabeth, we said hello to 2 of her friends who are not Christian. They came because they were invited and were able to participate in our discussion. It was amazing to see how Elizabeth could share this moment with her friends who don't know Christ. We kept smiling at each other through the study because I could see how excited she was. Praise God for bold, self-less students!

This has been my daily prayer, I truly desire to reach out to those who don't know the Bible or Christ. I don't want our groups to be exclusive especially to students who can truly benefit. Please pray with me that more will come hungry to hear what the Bible has to say."

Saturday Strolls

On Saturdays, I've gone on strolls in Nancy. It's been a good way to get to know the city and find inexpensive ways to entertain myself.

>>> My first stroll, I started walking down a street to see where it went. I took only my keys least I be tempted by a boulangerie or something else I don't need. I enjoyed the sights to see and the names of apartment buildings that were taken from regions in France: Alsace, Bourgogne, Lorraine... On my way home, I found some useful trash that someone had thrown out. I picked it up and walked quickly away, just in case they changed their mind.





<<< For second stroll, I decided to take myself out on a free evening date. I enjoyed the silent, illuminated streets without feeling in danger. I felt the advantages of being in a small city and enjoyed being outside at night as a single woman.










>>> On the third one, I took the tram to the terminus and walked home. To my surprise, the end of the line isn't very exciting, but the walk back was lovely. I saw a cute little park, the river, bridges decorated with flowers and I even bought a few needed items.

My recent stroll had a mission. I wanted to find the secondhand, warehouse-like shop Emmaüs without getting lost. On the map, I realized that I could take the same street almost all the way there. I had no idea how direct it was to get there after I went the first time. I literally went out of my way for no reason. The flip side was that I did have an enjoyable time that day. I didn't take a photo of my recent walk so below is from the time I got lost.

I wonder where my next stroll will lead me. Will they run out quickly after I have seen the entire city? Naw! Pas possible.

Jour férié

View from my successful visits

Today Thursday the 25 of May, I decided to visit a few campuses. It's a nice day with the sun shining, it feels like summer. Every campus I went to was desolate, not a person in sight. I thought maybe the school was already over, even though we still have a GBU group meeting. I figured that there would be a few people hanging around especially because I went the day before to a couple other campuses. Still I didn't think it was a waste of time because I prayed and meditated since there were no other distractions. 

Now let me explain what is a jour férié. It's a holiday in France. Only a few match with ones in the states so I never really think about them and I keep working all the same. On this day, the 25 of May, it's a jour férié. The French like their jours fériés and they always recognize them, expect for the unfortunate people in selected stores and restaurants. 

Then the moment clicked, everyone was happily elsewhere celebrating their jour férié. I caught a bus and was out of there. Thank God that there was one coming in a minute because the buses only run every hour on jours fériés. At least I learned to check the schedule correctly. I guess I still haven't passed my France 101 course. 😆

2 Rencontres

J'aimerais partager avec vous 2 rencontres que j'avais avec Dieu:

Ma conversion et mon appel de faire un ministère auprès les étudiants. 

J'ai rencontré le Seigneur quand j'étais au lycée. Je ne peux pas dire que j'ai grandi dans une famille chrétienne. On fréquentait des églises parce que c'était ma mère qui nous a forcé d'y aller. Donc chaque matin j'ai essayé écouter le pasteur mais je n'ai rien compris. Normalement mon père est tombée endormi et ma sœur lui donnait un petit coude pour qu'il ne puisse pas ronflé.

Au moment donné on a arrêté aller à Eglise et j'étais contente. Pour moi c'était ennuyante d'y aller et je ne comprenais pas le but. Et je voulais faire des autres activités qui m'intéressais plus. Par contre Dieu ne m'a pas laissé comme ça. Il avait toujours un plan. Quand j'ai commencé lycée, j'ai commencé sentir vide. J'étais une bonne élève. J'avais les bons notes, j'étais athlète, j'avais des amis, tout était "parfait" mais je n'étais pas contente avec ma vie. Donc j'ai commencé chercher quelques pour remplir le vide. Pour résumé mes exploits, je suis très reconnaissante de ne pas faire trop de bêtises avant de retourner à l'église. C'était ma sœur qui est retournée au départ. Elle était invitée au groupe de jeunes grâce à sa copine. À l'époque, on a partagé une chambre donc elle m'a rencontré ce qui s'est passé. En fait, j'étais jalouse qu'elle m'a pas invité toute suite. Mais après qq temps je suis venue avec elle et j'ai vu des choses incroyables. J'ai vu avec mes propres yeux les jeunes qui ont vraiment aimé Dieu et qui étais joyeux d'être à l'église. Ils avaient la vraie joie que j'ai cherché. J'ai commencé fréquenter le group et une soirée notre pastor a fait une invitation de connaître Jésus. J'étais prête. Donc j'ai levé ma main et puis j'ai prie la prière de repentance et accepter Jésus comme Seigneur. Pour moi c'était le moment qui va changer toute ma vie. 

Après le soif et faim pour la parole de Dieu m'est venu. Pas longtemps après, j'ai commencé mes études à la fac. Je suis très reconnaissante d'avoir trouvé un groupe avec qui je peux étudier la Bible plus profondément.

J'avance 12 ans pour la deuxième rencontre. Matthieu 9.36-38

Je suis venu en France pour étudier le français. Vers la date de la fin de mon visa, je me suis rendu compte que je ne peux pas quitté la France. Pendant ce temps de réflexion, j'ai commencé prier régulièrement pendant des heures dans le jardin où j'habitais. J'ai réfléchi sur les versets en Matthieu de la moisson. J'étais déjà engagé dans mon église avec le groupe de jeune, chorale, évangélisation. Mais je voulais faire encore plus. Grâce à mon église, j'ai trouvé un groupe des étudiants qui étudiait la Bible qui s'appelait les GBU, Groupes Biblique Universitaires. Quand je voyais ces étudiants qui avaient soif pour la parole de Dieu et ils avaient vraiment envie de partager leur foi avec leurs amis non-chrétiens, j'étais inspirée. Je voulais leur soutenir parce que je voyais aussi les obstacles. Dans ce groupe j'ai commencé sentir un appel pour faire la mission en France. Après beaucoup de prière et des conversations importantes, je me suis lancée dans un nouveau aventure avec le Seigneur. J'ai jamais regretté ma décision. Ça fait trois ans que je suis dans le ministère. Je m'étais jamais si contente dans ma vie. E

Dieu nous appelle de lui faire connaître. Et puis il nous envoie vers les autres. Nous sommes tous appelé de témoigner de lui.

Let's get started!

I am slowly easing into life here in Nancy. After a week and a half, and I still feel like everything is so new. I'm trying to figure out where to plant myself as well as how to be of use to Isabelle and the GBU students.

There are two students who I am excited to get to know more. One is from Indonesia. She shines with a her constant smile and is very approachable. It doesn't surprise me that her peers ask her about her faith. I was happy to get her a Bible for a friend. Amazingly the Bible was quickly delivered and well received.

German influence in Nancy

Another student started talking to me in English at the end of the Bible study because she wants to practice it before she goes on a mission trip this summer. This past week, she recently led her first Bible study, which went well.

These are some open doors that I have seen. I hope to find more opportunities to know how I can invest in students, encourage them and give them the resources they might need. Repeatedly, I have been told that the ministry that I do involves equipping students and sometimes indirectly leading others closer to Christ. Though I so desire to get my hands dirty and build relationships with those who don't know Christ; I do see a great reason to equip students to do this exact same thing. I hope to enable and be enabled to reach students for Christ by whatever means possible.

Remember

After a long stretch of sheer dependence on God to move mountains through my financial support, He provided a way for me to return to France. I am in awe and wonder of all he has taught me. Even as I look back on all he has done, I still can't believe that I am here. I didn't do a single thing but pray with his spirit strengthening me; the rest is completely accredited to God. "All to him I owe."


Lately, I have been ready through the Psalms about 2 per day. As I get up into the hundreds, they get longer and are not just filled with just praises, but reminders of when man disobeyed God, yet God rescued and love him anyway. I see that I have the same issues as the sons of Abraham & Adam. I keep stumbling and coming back to my senses by God's grace.

"Remember," he says softly to me, "Remember." I must remember what he has done. I cannot forget his faithfulness. He met me where I was and pulled me out of the slimy pit of discouragement and doubt. He gave me the faith to believe that I would get out of my circumstances and praise him. I don't want to forget. It's so easy for us to forget how we got to where we were in the first place. The very reason that Jesus died on the cross was to give us life, and here we are walking and breathing purely by the grace of God. I just want to hold on to all the memories but sadly I will forget. Thankfully he will always be there to remind me...

P.S. Enjoy the random scenes in Nancy.

Rue Bénit "Blessed street"

Surprising encounter

Copley square: Where I caught the bus home

During the beginning stages of a snow storm, I went to see a friend who was in town. While on the bus I met a woman and we started talking. I told her that I worked for InterVarsity and she knew of it. She said that she had friends who were involved. I was able to share with conviction about how I worked in France and the needs there for people to hear the Gospel. And I also told her that I was fundraising. She knew another staff who does the same and could see how it was hard to do. In it's defense, I told her that it's a test of faith to raise support, but if we believe in the the God who created the universe, then he can provide. We parted ways and I was glad I met her.

On my return home, we were on the same bus again. Somehow she felt like she should go to the bus stop not knowing if it was coming to not. The timing was too perfect! So we talked again on the way home and I could tell that it wasn't a coincidence that we met. On two express bus rides, we covered life, faith and the future, which are tough subjects to cover with a complete stranger. When we were parting ways, I gave her my card with hopes that we would keep in touch. And I thought that she was about to do the same but instead she made a donation towards the ministry, which I wasn't expecting it. She prayed for me and then we parted ways.

I am amazed how God mysteriously connects us all together. Even though I had never met this woman before, I was encouraged to meet a new person and share a small part of my life with her. Technology has isolated us in so many ways, yet it deceptively makes us feel like we are more connected. Honesty I think it's nice to just have conversation face to face with a person and see them smile.

Trials

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4

Raising the financial support to do my job isn't easy. I have faced so many trials these last 8 months, only God's promises have kept me steadfast. Through the trials, I have realized that this wasn't about me or the money, but instead about God's greater purposes and his willingness to use me in the process.

I am amazed by the generosity of those wanting to financially support me. I was taught to approach everyone I know. Though I have been hesitant to approach everyone, I have contacted students that I met in Paris. I was really surprised by how eager they were to help. Though they may not be rich, their enthusiasm is more than enough to encourage me not underestimate those who want an opportunity to give.

I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I have faced doubt, fear, lies, insecurity, awkwardness... Those are only a few to say the least. The fruit of these trials has been patience, love, trust, joy, contentment, wisdom, hope... Those are only a few. What I have gained from pursuing God's call has been pivotal in my walk with Christ. I would never trade any of these experiences and, if I had to, I would do it all over again. Well I probably will because it's part of my job as a full time missionary.

It's my hope that I may be able to use these experiences to encourage others to pursue God's calling for their lives. Pursuing God is never easy. The obstacles are numerous and the sacrifices are great. The truth is that he will never disappoint or let us down.

Provision from above

For the past 8 months, I have be trying to raise the financial support I need to return to France. It's apart of my job and I knew it would be hard. Now I'm starting to see why it's so important. This is a message I recently sent to someone who is considering going into full time ministry:

I was thinking again about the answer to your question: How long does it take to fundraise? Honestly I really don't know. God is the one who will initially provide for you. His timing isn't the same as ours. I'm in my second round of "extended support raising" and it feels like it's taking forever. I don't think there are any guarantees for how long it will take. And the number of people you think to ask isn't always a huge factor (to success) because the people I thought would give didn't and complete strangers were surprisingly generous. I think your motivation and sense of calling is huge because that will help you to boldly ask. I hope this scary but exciting aspect of ministry won't sway your decision if you really do feel called. If God is calling you, you'll go and have everything you need.


I wrote this without thinking how much it applies to me. I have been using my time and energy focusing on God's provision, but I can honestly say that I have been less focused on God and more focused on myself and the provision itself. No wonder doubt and fear enter my mind, there is no possible way for me to provide for myself. There is nothing that I can do but but trust in the one who gives to those who are in need. The amount doesn't matter because He is the source of everything we could possibly need.